A real Chef can make mountains out of molehills

OK, so, I still am without an oven. I know, I know...but money is tight and I also had to replace the garbage disposal. I also had to buy groceries which...was a bit expensive. Recently, My husband and I went to a little hole in the wall which we like because the food is rather inexpensive and it is always down dirty good.

Are you reading this? IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE. (Pink Floyd).

Anyways, this little hole in the wall joint had these awesome potato skins which really weren't skins at all. They were whole potato halves with what I feel was mozzarella. (Browned slightly on top) with bacon and just that. NO chives, no onions which I loved. Now, this sounds simple and I suppose it is but it was so great. Sour cream accompanied this wonderful simple plate and I couldn't get enough of them.

I wanted to make these at home but what to do without an oven? Mind you, I do have a stove top range. (At least that part hasn't gone to pot).

So, what I did was par-boil the potatoes in a large stock pot.

I let those cool, then I cut them in half and placed them in some hot peanut oil. I let those go for awhile and kept flipping them over with tongs to make sure they weren't burning. Next, I placed those on a plate with paper towels to drain the oil then I put Mozzarella cheese and fresh grated sharp Cheddar and fresh grated Parmesan cheese on top of the halved potatoes and then placed those in the microwave oven. I melted the cheese then took My blow torch and browned the tops as if I was making Crème brûlée. The result was wonderful. The skins (potatoes) were crispy. The cheese was browned and divine. My husband nearly had a heart attack because these were so so good.

So, when you have lemons? Make lemonade! (I am going to make lemonade today with the fresh lemons I have). Next? I am going to make new body salt scrubs with the lime zest and juice that I have which I will add to My plain bath salt along with grape seed oil. Yummy and nice! I should sell this crap.

In closing, remember that a real Chef can create goodness out of nothing...out of anything at hand. Improvise!

Speaking of brûlée's I am going to make some of those tonight. I have fresh cream in the icebox along with fresh vanilla beans. Now, I am actually going back and forth on what I want to make..I can make caramels with fleur de sel salt. YUM YUM! I'll let you know what I decided on...

Till then, keep creating, keep cooking and keep LIVING!

As always,
Eve.

A review on frozen one dollar meals.

Hello dear readers whoever you may be (Fig Newtons of My imagination?)
I am happy to report a couple of wonderful finds that were easy on the pocketbook at wonderful on the pallet. I found Green Giant 'Steamers' in the frozen food section which were on sale for 1.00 a piece for all varieties. There weren't many broccoli rice and cheese bags left but they did have the smaller 10 oz. boxes on sale for a dollar as well.

What they are: Fresh vegetables with sauce, no sauce, etc. that you pop right into your microwave with no fuss. Just sit the bag inside the microwave and walk away. In 5 minutes or less (give or take) you have a wonderful side dish or a wonderful meal if you are watching your weight or want a lighter dish. The bags are 12.oz sized servings each and come in many delicious varieties. My favorite so far is broccoli cheese and rice. Yummy and for only a dollar a pop even better. If you are a bachelor or single gal and don't want to lug out the pots and pans to heat up broccoli cuts or golden corn, this is right up your alley. Give them a try. I read somewhere online that you can get dollar coupons for these which...if you find them on sale for a dollar means you got a free meal. Who says there isn't anything such as a free lunch? I need to go find those coupons!

Next on My review list is Betty Crocker's warm delights. These were also on sale for, you guessed it, 1.00 each. I bought several varieties. So far I have tried molten chocolate cake. These are so fun and simple and remind Me of being a child and mixing My cake mix up for My easy bake oven which was powered by a light bulb. All you do is add water to the microwave bowl and squirt on the chocolate/caramel or whatever flavor you got of icing/fudge on top and microwave for a minute or so. Desert is done! Again, this is nice if you are in a hurry and cannot justify baking a whole cake for your lonesome. Cleanup is a flash (just throw away the bowl).

If you can find coupons for these little wonders which are a perfect single serving size, stock up on them as you may end up getting your desert for free too (or for around 20 cents or so depending on the coupon. Double coupons? It's free.

Speaking of those... I think I'll go make one now as I am almost finished with My broccoli rice and cheese steamer.

Bon Apatite!

As always,
Eve.

The Big Bubba Letdown Of 2010

Hello dear reader/s/ or nobody at all.

I just have to tell you about My huge letdown from last evening. OK, a little background:

Recently as you know, My oven has went on the fritz. Now, I normally 'bake' My burgers but on occasion I will also put them in a skillet on the range as well, or I will lug out the indoor grill and grill burgers. To make cleanup easy and quick, I usually bake them though.

I suppose this piece of information is inconsequential as My Father microwaves most every type of food he comes in contact with unless it is a fruit or a can of meat such as tuna etc.

He likes these frozen burgers which are microwaveable which he makes a huge mess in the microwave with called 'Bubba Burgers'.

These are meat patties shaped in an odd sort of way. I suppose I would liken the shape to a flower such as the Daisy. I also read on Bubba Burgers official website that they have 'Texas' shaped Bubba burgers as well. Yee haw!

As it were, My Father likes the Bubba Burgers that are 'sweet onion' infused. They do smell good when one is extremely hungry but other times they smell like a horrible food experiment gone wrong. This week however dear reader, they have been smelling good enough to make Me hungry enough to want to go out to a restaurant or grill (be it a dive or a fast food joint) that sells a really nice meaty beef burger the greasier the better. Throw that hunk of meat (medium) on a bun and pile it with lettuce, mayo, mustard, tomato, pickle and cheese? That's good eats. Add a huge pile of hot enough to burn the roof of your mouth fries? That's best eats.

I was on the internet most of the day looking for places to go out to that I could get a nice meaty juicy burger from. I finally talked with My husband and asked him about a joint that is close to our local called 'The Shanty grill'. He said that he was pretty sure they would have a nice burger there as it was advertised as a grill.

Now, since I usually don't feel well enough to go out, doing so is a big event/ordeal for Me. I actually have to put on some clothes that match and grab a pair of clean socks out of the dresser drawer. I slick back My hair, make sure My fingernails are kempt and cleaned and then go put on My heavy long black embroidered BB coat. THEN I lug Myself outside into the cold and into a car older than I am. Suffice it to say, I was ready for a treat, I was ready for meat, I was ready for....

NOT FOR WHAT FOLLOWED!

First off, the place is a dive which doesn't bother Me TOO much as long as the food is good. The menu was limited BUT they did have 1/2 price appetizers on Wednesday nights which was nice on the pocketbook. The appetizers were actually quite good. I had a big plate of cheese fries with bacon and a plate of pepper jack cheese balls (fried in a batter) with Ranch dressing. We both shared those. The hubby ordered a Reuben on marbled Rye and I a big burger of course! I waited in anticipation for My meaty meal to hit our table. I waited for the juicy goodness (or not so goodness depending on how you are looking at it) to drip all over My hands and maybe onto the table and My lap below.

Here it came! The food had 'arrived'. The hubby's plate looked wonderful complete with chips and a pickle spear. My plate looked nice as well...but that is only because My meal was hidden underneath a huge stale Kaiser roll. I lifted the bun to put on My condiments and to My utter shock, waiting below for Me to dress was... (drum roll please).....

You guessed it. A BUBBA BURGER! I looked at it's familiar flower shape with a face that must have exuded complete failure, letdown and disappointment. I thought I may weep. Of course, I did not weep, but I also did not eat the burger. I set the plate to the side and slumped down in My booth so far that I thought I might just slide onto the floor in a big oozy like pile of human gunk.

Luckily We still had appetizers left which is what I sustained Myself on. If you want a burger (a REAL homemade grill burger) do NOT go to the Shanty grill on South Meridian Street. You won't get one there. You could however, go a few feet away in the same plaza and buy yourself a pound of ground chuck/beef/Angus/ whatever your taste at the Omalia's grocery store and a bag of buns and make your own burger (which is what I was trying to avoid) and have better luck at a nice meal.

Sigh. Better luck next time right? I'll let you know. There is now a Bubba burger up in the fridge in a to go box that has been undefiled. Maybe I'll try and eat it? Maybe I'll let My Father eat it? Sigh.

Anyone want to take Me out for a nice juicy REAL burger? I am accepting offers...

Until then, as always,
Eve.

Where has she been?!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!!!

The worse possible thing that could happen happened dear reader or absentee reader/non reader/ghost reader/ghost?

Picture it, Cicily, errr Indianapolis December 25th 2009. I have some lovely beef tenderloin which happens to have cost Me 70+ dollars per pound. YIKES but...hey it's Xmas so what? I only do this what? Once a year.

Beef wellington with real English mustard, cooked down mushrooms, parma ham... puff pastry...

My idea was to do two Wellintons at different temps. One would be RARE RARE RARE (My husband and My taste). The other? Medium which is My Father and his wife's taste.

Sounds simple enough.

First the menu and then the fiasco that followed. You can laugh at My pain. Go ahead, a big full belly laugh.

I rarely have a fiasco in the kitchen. Not to toot My own horn but its true. I rarely do. Perhaps I have just been very lucky?

So, I season and sear the beef in a hot pan. The mushroom paste is on hand as I did that beforehand. The English mustard is on hand as is the Italian bacon/ ham which is thinly sliced as per directed. I have around 7 slices per Wellington.

So, the night before Xmas Eve I baked a TON of bread. Amish friendship bread My rear! Nothing friendly about this bread. You get a starter from someone (which happened to be My next door neighbor who oddly enough is a big grizzly bear type of a man) who is a father to a dear darling little girl named 'Kalyee' but, I always mix her name up so that may be incorrect, but for now We will say that I am right.

About Kaylee, she's five and as sharp as a tack and as cute as a bug in a rug. She says that I am confused. I told her that when you get to be My age that many things get confused and that she was lucky that I showed up at her door step with My pants on the right way!

Anyways,

Back to this stupid Amish friendship bread. That night, I hated the Amish. I hated horse and buggies and plain clothes. Friendship bread? Bulldookey! I had Amish bread coming out of My ears. I think..the Amish are responsible for My oven going on the fritz.

So this grizzly guy comes over with two baggies full of this dough type crap. He says do you know anything about starter breads? I say yes, yes I do.

Good he says. He couldn't pawn this stuff off on Me soon enough! He basically dropped this crap in My hands and ran away!

Luckily he gave Me some instructions via print off internet instructions.

His bread? It turned out like petrified turds that were shaped like footballs.

Sigh.

Mine? This is ten day bread. What a LOAD of crap. Do these Amish have to make everything so difficult?

What a load of bunkola!

So again, I made this crap and made a good many varieties of bread. I made pineapple upside down cakes. I made banana chocolate chip bread. I made banana bread, I made YOU NAME IT DIGGLY DANGED BREAD BREAD).

What was funny was, I brought some of that bread over to the neighbor. You know..edible bread that didn't look similar to footballs. I know he must have felt horrible but hey, I am a Chef so..you know.

Back to Xmas day. I am having so many snafus and to add insult to injury, I only had ONE box of puff pastry. I normally keep two on hand JUST IN CASE something goes wrong.

Something DID go wrong.

Since I only had a limited supply of puff pastry...I decided that I would roll out the dough quite thin in betwixt two sheets of.....wax paper.

BIG MISTAKE!

The pastry stuck to the wax paper and I had a hard danged time of getting the pastry OFF of the paper.

My loving husband was at My last frigging nerve. I wanted to ship him off to Siberia at this point. He was only trying to help but I gave him eyes that said "if you wish to secure your life, leave NOW!!!!!!!!!"

I really thought that if he valued his life he would leave the kitchen.

He kept trying to come up with ideas that were indeed, crazy! I wanted to take out one of those knives and gut him! I know that sounds horrible and of course, I love him and would never think of filleting him... but....

So, with eyes that could send one to Hades and back I glared at him while infernal flames surely shot out of My tightened butt hole! I sure was wrapped tight that day to say the very least.

Then? Then? OH GUESS ALREADY!

The love of My life, My oven quit working! Heck yes! It gave up the holy ghost! I thought that I may have a heart attack! As the wonderful comedic movie 'Airplane' would say and I'll quote:

"I picked a good day to quit smoking crack"!

How could this be? I have a lot of money on the line. I have a LOT of people coming over. Crap the bed!

So....here I am with two Wellingtons on sheet pans and tip toeing through the darned frozen tulips to the grizzly bear neighbors house just HOPING that he will allow Me to use his oven.

It so happens that he was alone on Xmas and had fruit basket bigger than My body to give to Us. He said yes, please use his oven. Unfortunate it was that his oven was a ticking time bomb.

As Alton Brown says, never trust an oven and I don't. I took a digital thermometer over to test his ovens temp.

It was a time consuming event. I had guest over at My house waiting on din din and I was over there testing the temps and raising and lowering the temps on the oven. Dennis (that is the nice sweet grizzly bears name) was as cool as a cucumber in making jokes about My cooking. See, the oven was smoking. What I found out later was that it wasn't My Wellingtons making the smoke, but the cheap excuse for tin foil that he kindly provided Me with that was catching flame and smoking.

Dennis get some Renyonlds foil for Pete's sake!

Hot as Satan's toenails it was in that kitchen and I there on My Palm Treo calling next door to say that I am coming....soon, soon.....

Son of a gun!

Well, suffice it to say everything went off without much of a hitch after that. People were fed and leftovers were packed up and eaten throughout the week.

One Wellington was however more medium well that medium. Ahh crap.

The other? Pretty good. I have pics of My Wellintons..

I served with the Wellington:

Homemade 17 hour cheesecake.
Fresh snapped green beans with ham.
Fresh mashed potatoes (fingerling) with butter and fresh heavy cream.
Fresh baked bread.
Salad with freshly made ancho/balsamic dressing and 20 plus dollar per pound Parmesan cheese. Anchos were fresh too and fillet in house.
Chilled Buffalo Mozzarella cheese with fresh basil, tomatoes and balsamic vinegar dressing (homemade) with flake salt and freshly ground pepper.

YUM YUM!

Anyway, what a day/night.

Still I am thankful, even with all the problems that day in the kitchen that I was here to cook another Christmas day. I mean, really when you think about it, My problems were minute compared to what could have/should have been. I could be worm food.

Whew! I live to cook another day. Merry Christmas to all and Happy New Year!

As always,
Eve.

So much to do and so little time!

Well dear readers and or reader and or no reader(s) at all, today is Christmas Eve and I have been busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest. As all Chefs know, the Holidays are filled with friends, gifts, and most importantly, FOOD. The holidays are very trying for most Chefs as We whip up our most wonderful Culinary creations for those We love. There never seems to be enough time, and if someone else knows that you can cook, you are constantly asked to create such and such for so and so's party. No biggie right? We love to do this (I know I do) but it isn't that hard to find ones self in the weeds in no time flat.

Here are some tips for the Chef to help speed things up a bit this season:

1) Do your grocery shopping as early as possible. Some items you will have to purchase the day before cooking but buy as many non perishable items that you can in advance. Nobody wants to be reduced into fighting some little old lady for a can of evaporated milk in the markets baking lane, all though many Chefs will tell you that they have done exactly that and would do it again if the item was of import for a recipe.

2) Avoid all your non big gift giving friends and screen your calls. Sure, you may not get as many gifts but they were going to be cheesy anyway right? So forget about unwrapping that shiny new bottle opener from your cheap friend Larry and you won't have to worry about making Larry a cheesecake for his party (which he invites you to basically cater). A party? How thoughtful (NOT)!

3) Prep as many items as possible the day/night before Christmas. Chop up all your vegetables and place them in Zip Lock bags. Cut the cheese (oh grow up!) the night before (just not in bed). You can make your party dips the night prior as the flavors will meld nicely overnight. Dips and soups are always best the next day. You can make your cheese balls ahead of time and freeze them and let them thaw out in the morning or an hour or so before your party. If you are baking appetizers make the dough/appetizer the day before and freeze your items so that you can thaw them out in the morning, cut and bake (such as cookies or My amazing bacon swirls). Gather together the items that you will be using to serve your dishes in and get them ready ahead of time. Set the table the night before.

4) Make a to do list and DO IT. Follow your list and scratch off each thing you do after you have completed your task.

5) Get up EARLY (every Chef is used to this) and get ready. Put on your best perfume or cologne, make up that pretty face and get dressed. Depending on your party this could be casual or dressy but if you are dressing up, be sure to wear your apron or put on your dress clothes before guest arrive (not while you are cooking).

6) Get as many people as you can to HELP YOU. If you have family members just loafing around put them to work! If your Sister calls you and ask when to come over and what can she do? CALL HER BLUFF! Tell her you need her NOW and she can do plenty of things. The more help you can get the better (unless you have people in your family that you do not trust near hot objects such as a stove) or sharp objects (such as knives). NEVER and I do mean NEVER let your hefty friends/relatives help you in the kitchen unless you want half or more of your ingredients eaten before it is used in your recipes. Most of all, take a break now and then and count to ten. Go outside for a breather and RELAX. Everything is going to be fab baby (after all YOU cooked it). :)

I am so fortunate and thrilled to be here for another Holiday season. Hug the ones who are close to you and be thrilled that they are here with you as well. It is a great time to be alive!

Happy Holidays to you and yours and to Me and Mine. :D

As always,
Evie.

So many things to do..but what do I make?

I woke up today feeling (not as bad) as normal and had many ideas buzzing through My head as of what to make for appetizers/dinner/desert tonight. I have finally narrowed it down to: Hot German Potato salad, Banana pudding (see picture) in tall glasses, grilled or roasted veggies for My Father (with perhaps some type of light sauce such as Balsamic Vinegar), cheese souffle, (which is marvelous and really a show stopper), baked cheese grits with garlic cheese biscuits, or Czar salad with homemade bread.

I am leaning towards making a couple of things (just in smaller portions than I normally make). I can make maybe three pounds of German Potato salad as it keeps well in the icebox and My husband and I eat oodles of it, not to mention the fact that I have a large bag of bacon that I prepared the other day that is nice and crispy and needs to be used. I can also use some of the bacon as a topping for My Czar salad and have a salad night. One hot salad, one chilled salad. I do however want to make this cheese souffle as I love it so much and it has been quite time since I have made it as it does involve a bit of work (OK a lot of work). The work isn't what bothers Me even though I am feeling less than great health wise today. I suppose its just that I don't need to make that right now as the cheese I have will keep for a great deal of time and there is no sense in opening more cheese, all though..hmmm I do have several imported cheeses that I have opened that can be used but this would be an experiment on taste. BUT, My experiments normally work out quite nicely and how can you go wrong with cheeses you already love? Just use the same amount of said different cheese/cheeses than that of the cheese the recipe calls for. Then there is that work again (OK maybe I am NOT feeling well enough to fool with whipping up and folding in egg whites to a tempered cheese and egg yolk mixture. IT IS SO PRETTY and impressive though!

I think that you, dear reader (whoever you may be) knows that more likely than not I am going to end up making this souffle.

Now, baked garlic cheese grits are wonderful but I certainly would have to scale down My normal recipe because I am not sure if My Father is allowed to eat any due to 'dieting' or if his wife's son like grits (even with gobs of cheese and a crispy Panko bread crumb topping). I am guessing that the word 'grits' is enough to make him pack his bags and sneak out of town in the middle of the night to avoid eating/trying them. I Myself, have always loved them.

I would call the hubby but he is on a long delivery today and is probably pretty focused on the job at hand than to listen to Me prattle on about what to make for dinner. He WILL eat any of the things I mentioned above but I know for sure that garlic cheese biscuits and banana pudding are a go. He really enjoys that potato salad too. He likes and will eat Czar salad but the other things I mentioned would top that..

I was going to make homemade French Onion soup today as I purchased some lovely large peeled sweet onions and need to use those up before they spoil but I think I will save that for the weekend so We can just snuggle up and eat hot soup while the temperature keeps dropping outside. We can watch movies and eat cheesy cheesy hot soup with crusty bread and a nice salad. Yes, I will start the soup on Friday morning (mine takes all day to cook) and come Friday night We can have a bowl of that along with something else and come Saturday it will be even better! Soup is always better the next day in My humble opinion.

Well, I suppose I better get moving if I want to get ANY of this done. Maybe I'll phone My Father and see what he would like (no need to chop up a ton of veggies for roasted, stir fried or grilled veggies if he doesn't want any of them.

I'll let you know what I ended up with.

Until then, keep cooking and keep living!
Evie.

Alton Brown are you out there?

For years I have been enamored with The Food Network show entitled: "Good Eats" with host Alton Brown. From My first viewing of the show I immediately was swept back to My years of higher learning and a smile crept up on My face as Science, Chemistry and all things nerdy were My favorite things to study. Brown is by definition, a 'Food Scientist' making the art of cooking FUN to learn. Browns show integrates, Science, corny quirky characters, video cams (even an oven cam), geeky experiments, food experts (including food Historians), and even tickles the viewers funny bone with a 'lady in the Fridge'.


Brown has even been known to have members of his own family pop in on his show including his late Grandmother who taught Me how to make the best biscuits ever. (Sorry Mr. Brown but I liked your Ma Mey's biscuits better as I tried both hers and your method.)

Brown dons on funny costumes, teaches Historical food facts and really makes cooking FUN again. For those who aren't serious foodies and may be likened to 'Bulls In A China Shop' when it comes to cooking in their own kitchens, Brown breaks things down to the most simplistic of terms leaving the viewer relieved and more than likely left with the sense that they really aren't that 'stupid' when it comes to kitchen savvy, just uneducated.For most,learning something new reminds one of being back in a bright school room with obnoxious florescent overhead lights buzzing above their heads. It is no wonder that many people simply do NOT want to revisit their high school or college years unless that is, a beer keg is involved.

Brown shatters the overhead bulbs and shines new light into the viewers classroom which just so happens to be their own kitchens. For every door that needs to be unlocked, there is a key to open that door with. Brown appears to have the key to every foodies door, just ask to see his key ring as I hear it is quite large indeed.

As it were dear readers it should be noted that each time I watch Browns show I feel as if I am back in school but only this time, on a FIELD TRIP with the coolest teacher on the planet. I have learned so much including, how to properly peel an egg. All this time I was struggling with peeling an egg and I like to view Myself as pretty gifted when it comes to all things culinary. Just goes to show you, that you CAN teach an old dog new tricks.

Bow wow Alton Brown thanks for rocking My culinary world and keep the Good Eats coming.

Currently I am viewing Alton Browns box set entitled: "Kitchen Classics". I have viewed many of these episodes before but it's nice to get a refresher course and have Alton right next to Me in My kitchen even if it is via laptop. I think I see a Good Eats spinach salad in My near future...like tonight.

Hail Good Eats! Hail Alton Brown.

As always,
Evie.