A review on frozen one dollar meals.

Hello dear readers whoever you may be (Fig Newtons of My imagination?)
I am happy to report a couple of wonderful finds that were easy on the pocketbook at wonderful on the pallet. I found Green Giant 'Steamers' in the frozen food section which were on sale for 1.00 a piece for all varieties. There weren't many broccoli rice and cheese bags left but they did have the smaller 10 oz. boxes on sale for a dollar as well.

What they are: Fresh vegetables with sauce, no sauce, etc. that you pop right into your microwave with no fuss. Just sit the bag inside the microwave and walk away. In 5 minutes or less (give or take) you have a wonderful side dish or a wonderful meal if you are watching your weight or want a lighter dish. The bags are 12.oz sized servings each and come in many delicious varieties. My favorite so far is broccoli cheese and rice. Yummy and for only a dollar a pop even better. If you are a bachelor or single gal and don't want to lug out the pots and pans to heat up broccoli cuts or golden corn, this is right up your alley. Give them a try. I read somewhere online that you can get dollar coupons for these which...if you find them on sale for a dollar means you got a free meal. Who says there isn't anything such as a free lunch? I need to go find those coupons!

Next on My review list is Betty Crocker's warm delights. These were also on sale for, you guessed it, 1.00 each. I bought several varieties. So far I have tried molten chocolate cake. These are so fun and simple and remind Me of being a child and mixing My cake mix up for My easy bake oven which was powered by a light bulb. All you do is add water to the microwave bowl and squirt on the chocolate/caramel or whatever flavor you got of icing/fudge on top and microwave for a minute or so. Desert is done! Again, this is nice if you are in a hurry and cannot justify baking a whole cake for your lonesome. Cleanup is a flash (just throw away the bowl).

If you can find coupons for these little wonders which are a perfect single serving size, stock up on them as you may end up getting your desert for free too (or for around 20 cents or so depending on the coupon. Double coupons? It's free.

Speaking of those... I think I'll go make one now as I am almost finished with My broccoli rice and cheese steamer.

Bon Apatite!

As always,
Eve.

The Big Bubba Letdown Of 2010

Hello dear reader/s/ or nobody at all.

I just have to tell you about My huge letdown from last evening. OK, a little background:

Recently as you know, My oven has went on the fritz. Now, I normally 'bake' My burgers but on occasion I will also put them in a skillet on the range as well, or I will lug out the indoor grill and grill burgers. To make cleanup easy and quick, I usually bake them though.

I suppose this piece of information is inconsequential as My Father microwaves most every type of food he comes in contact with unless it is a fruit or a can of meat such as tuna etc.

He likes these frozen burgers which are microwaveable which he makes a huge mess in the microwave with called 'Bubba Burgers'.

These are meat patties shaped in an odd sort of way. I suppose I would liken the shape to a flower such as the Daisy. I also read on Bubba Burgers official website that they have 'Texas' shaped Bubba burgers as well. Yee haw!

As it were, My Father likes the Bubba Burgers that are 'sweet onion' infused. They do smell good when one is extremely hungry but other times they smell like a horrible food experiment gone wrong. This week however dear reader, they have been smelling good enough to make Me hungry enough to want to go out to a restaurant or grill (be it a dive or a fast food joint) that sells a really nice meaty beef burger the greasier the better. Throw that hunk of meat (medium) on a bun and pile it with lettuce, mayo, mustard, tomato, pickle and cheese? That's good eats. Add a huge pile of hot enough to burn the roof of your mouth fries? That's best eats.

I was on the internet most of the day looking for places to go out to that I could get a nice meaty juicy burger from. I finally talked with My husband and asked him about a joint that is close to our local called 'The Shanty grill'. He said that he was pretty sure they would have a nice burger there as it was advertised as a grill.

Now, since I usually don't feel well enough to go out, doing so is a big event/ordeal for Me. I actually have to put on some clothes that match and grab a pair of clean socks out of the dresser drawer. I slick back My hair, make sure My fingernails are kempt and cleaned and then go put on My heavy long black embroidered BB coat. THEN I lug Myself outside into the cold and into a car older than I am. Suffice it to say, I was ready for a treat, I was ready for meat, I was ready for....

NOT FOR WHAT FOLLOWED!

First off, the place is a dive which doesn't bother Me TOO much as long as the food is good. The menu was limited BUT they did have 1/2 price appetizers on Wednesday nights which was nice on the pocketbook. The appetizers were actually quite good. I had a big plate of cheese fries with bacon and a plate of pepper jack cheese balls (fried in a batter) with Ranch dressing. We both shared those. The hubby ordered a Reuben on marbled Rye and I a big burger of course! I waited in anticipation for My meaty meal to hit our table. I waited for the juicy goodness (or not so goodness depending on how you are looking at it) to drip all over My hands and maybe onto the table and My lap below.

Here it came! The food had 'arrived'. The hubby's plate looked wonderful complete with chips and a pickle spear. My plate looked nice as well...but that is only because My meal was hidden underneath a huge stale Kaiser roll. I lifted the bun to put on My condiments and to My utter shock, waiting below for Me to dress was... (drum roll please).....

You guessed it. A BUBBA BURGER! I looked at it's familiar flower shape with a face that must have exuded complete failure, letdown and disappointment. I thought I may weep. Of course, I did not weep, but I also did not eat the burger. I set the plate to the side and slumped down in My booth so far that I thought I might just slide onto the floor in a big oozy like pile of human gunk.

Luckily We still had appetizers left which is what I sustained Myself on. If you want a burger (a REAL homemade grill burger) do NOT go to the Shanty grill on South Meridian Street. You won't get one there. You could however, go a few feet away in the same plaza and buy yourself a pound of ground chuck/beef/Angus/ whatever your taste at the Omalia's grocery store and a bag of buns and make your own burger (which is what I was trying to avoid) and have better luck at a nice meal.

Sigh. Better luck next time right? I'll let you know. There is now a Bubba burger up in the fridge in a to go box that has been undefiled. Maybe I'll try and eat it? Maybe I'll let My Father eat it? Sigh.

Anyone want to take Me out for a nice juicy REAL burger? I am accepting offers...

Until then, as always,
Eve.

Where has she been?!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!!!

The worse possible thing that could happen happened dear reader or absentee reader/non reader/ghost reader/ghost?

Picture it, Cicily, errr Indianapolis December 25th 2009. I have some lovely beef tenderloin which happens to have cost Me 70+ dollars per pound. YIKES but...hey it's Xmas so what? I only do this what? Once a year.

Beef wellington with real English mustard, cooked down mushrooms, parma ham... puff pastry...

My idea was to do two Wellintons at different temps. One would be RARE RARE RARE (My husband and My taste). The other? Medium which is My Father and his wife's taste.

Sounds simple enough.

First the menu and then the fiasco that followed. You can laugh at My pain. Go ahead, a big full belly laugh.

I rarely have a fiasco in the kitchen. Not to toot My own horn but its true. I rarely do. Perhaps I have just been very lucky?

So, I season and sear the beef in a hot pan. The mushroom paste is on hand as I did that beforehand. The English mustard is on hand as is the Italian bacon/ ham which is thinly sliced as per directed. I have around 7 slices per Wellington.

So, the night before Xmas Eve I baked a TON of bread. Amish friendship bread My rear! Nothing friendly about this bread. You get a starter from someone (which happened to be My next door neighbor who oddly enough is a big grizzly bear type of a man) who is a father to a dear darling little girl named 'Kalyee' but, I always mix her name up so that may be incorrect, but for now We will say that I am right.

About Kaylee, she's five and as sharp as a tack and as cute as a bug in a rug. She says that I am confused. I told her that when you get to be My age that many things get confused and that she was lucky that I showed up at her door step with My pants on the right way!

Anyways,

Back to this stupid Amish friendship bread. That night, I hated the Amish. I hated horse and buggies and plain clothes. Friendship bread? Bulldookey! I had Amish bread coming out of My ears. I think..the Amish are responsible for My oven going on the fritz.

So this grizzly guy comes over with two baggies full of this dough type crap. He says do you know anything about starter breads? I say yes, yes I do.

Good he says. He couldn't pawn this stuff off on Me soon enough! He basically dropped this crap in My hands and ran away!

Luckily he gave Me some instructions via print off internet instructions.

His bread? It turned out like petrified turds that were shaped like footballs.

Sigh.

Mine? This is ten day bread. What a LOAD of crap. Do these Amish have to make everything so difficult?

What a load of bunkola!

So again, I made this crap and made a good many varieties of bread. I made pineapple upside down cakes. I made banana chocolate chip bread. I made banana bread, I made YOU NAME IT DIGGLY DANGED BREAD BREAD).

What was funny was, I brought some of that bread over to the neighbor. You know..edible bread that didn't look similar to footballs. I know he must have felt horrible but hey, I am a Chef so..you know.

Back to Xmas day. I am having so many snafus and to add insult to injury, I only had ONE box of puff pastry. I normally keep two on hand JUST IN CASE something goes wrong.

Something DID go wrong.

Since I only had a limited supply of puff pastry...I decided that I would roll out the dough quite thin in betwixt two sheets of.....wax paper.

BIG MISTAKE!

The pastry stuck to the wax paper and I had a hard danged time of getting the pastry OFF of the paper.

My loving husband was at My last frigging nerve. I wanted to ship him off to Siberia at this point. He was only trying to help but I gave him eyes that said "if you wish to secure your life, leave NOW!!!!!!!!!"

I really thought that if he valued his life he would leave the kitchen.

He kept trying to come up with ideas that were indeed, crazy! I wanted to take out one of those knives and gut him! I know that sounds horrible and of course, I love him and would never think of filleting him... but....

So, with eyes that could send one to Hades and back I glared at him while infernal flames surely shot out of My tightened butt hole! I sure was wrapped tight that day to say the very least.

Then? Then? OH GUESS ALREADY!

The love of My life, My oven quit working! Heck yes! It gave up the holy ghost! I thought that I may have a heart attack! As the wonderful comedic movie 'Airplane' would say and I'll quote:

"I picked a good day to quit smoking crack"!

How could this be? I have a lot of money on the line. I have a LOT of people coming over. Crap the bed!

So....here I am with two Wellingtons on sheet pans and tip toeing through the darned frozen tulips to the grizzly bear neighbors house just HOPING that he will allow Me to use his oven.

It so happens that he was alone on Xmas and had fruit basket bigger than My body to give to Us. He said yes, please use his oven. Unfortunate it was that his oven was a ticking time bomb.

As Alton Brown says, never trust an oven and I don't. I took a digital thermometer over to test his ovens temp.

It was a time consuming event. I had guest over at My house waiting on din din and I was over there testing the temps and raising and lowering the temps on the oven. Dennis (that is the nice sweet grizzly bears name) was as cool as a cucumber in making jokes about My cooking. See, the oven was smoking. What I found out later was that it wasn't My Wellingtons making the smoke, but the cheap excuse for tin foil that he kindly provided Me with that was catching flame and smoking.

Dennis get some Renyonlds foil for Pete's sake!

Hot as Satan's toenails it was in that kitchen and I there on My Palm Treo calling next door to say that I am coming....soon, soon.....

Son of a gun!

Well, suffice it to say everything went off without much of a hitch after that. People were fed and leftovers were packed up and eaten throughout the week.

One Wellington was however more medium well that medium. Ahh crap.

The other? Pretty good. I have pics of My Wellintons..

I served with the Wellington:

Homemade 17 hour cheesecake.
Fresh snapped green beans with ham.
Fresh mashed potatoes (fingerling) with butter and fresh heavy cream.
Fresh baked bread.
Salad with freshly made ancho/balsamic dressing and 20 plus dollar per pound Parmesan cheese. Anchos were fresh too and fillet in house.
Chilled Buffalo Mozzarella cheese with fresh basil, tomatoes and balsamic vinegar dressing (homemade) with flake salt and freshly ground pepper.

YUM YUM!

Anyway, what a day/night.

Still I am thankful, even with all the problems that day in the kitchen that I was here to cook another Christmas day. I mean, really when you think about it, My problems were minute compared to what could have/should have been. I could be worm food.

Whew! I live to cook another day. Merry Christmas to all and Happy New Year!

As always,
Eve.